"My eyes have been opened"

So this week has been amazing. First off, the doctors took 2 Xrays and were positive for a few days that I had Tuberculosis. BUT I was lucky enough to be shuttled out of the MTC gates for a CT scan and was found to be healthy. Phew!

So I never have much time to write, so I'm just going to write about a couple days that were really special to me this week.

As I've been in the MTC, my eyes have been opened to all the holes in my testimony and knowledge of the gospel. I've been praying to know and appreciate the Atonement better since day one at the MTC and I feel like Heavenly Father answered my prayer and I got to feel the miracle of the Atonement. It's come little by little, but I love it so much. First off, in class last week my teacher Brother Money shared a scripture, Alma 13:3 that said that we excerised faith in the pre-earth life. That struck me because I realized for the first time that the 3rd of the host of heaven probably weren't devil worshiping psycho spirits. But they just didn't believe and were too afraid to come down to this mortal existence because of the chance that Jesus Christ would back out and not perform his sacrifice. I thought of how amazing it was, because Jesus Christ COULD have messed us all up and we could have been lost and fallen forever, but he DIDN'T back out.

Then on Saturday we taught a fake investigator the plan of Salvation. Learning about the plan of salvation in this way has been really eye-opening. I've never seen it from the perspective of not knowing it. Seeing it that way has made it wonderful and beautiful to me. When we taught the lesson, my companion and I decided I would introduce the Atonement. I shared Alma 7 and bore my testimony. The Spirit was so strong and I cried and so did my companion. Typical girls, but it was so neat. I just felt so much love and appreciation for Christ. I think we never realize how much we know and love him sometimes.

Then a couple nights ago I was really sad about something specific. I was crying in bed (the MTC has made me such a baby) and my thoughts turned to the Savior. As I prayed I imagined the Saviors hands and feet and felt so comforted and loved and so grateful that there was someone who loved me so personally and knew me so well to have compassion on me.

Then the Christmas message from the First Presidency was our devotional yesterday. Elder Uchdorf's talk about seeing Christ in our lives and not missing Him was so amazing. I imaged how it must have been to live in Jerusalem at the time of Christ, yet be so busy or hard-hearted that I didn't have time or couldn't see Him for who he was. I felt so jealous of those in Jerusalem yet so afraid that maybe I would have been one of the ones that missed Him because I was too absorbed in myself to notice. It was such a neat talk. We had a district "sharing time" about what we thought of the devotional after that and I felt that same witness of Christ that was just so amazing. That night I also realized what a miracle prayer is. It's amazing and such a privilege that we can pray through all matter and space to an omnipotent loving God who will truly hang on your every word and give you His undivided attention. What an amazing thought that is. It was so humbling and has caused me to drastically change how I pray. Praying is alot more meaningful now. I just can't believe we all have this opportunity. Wow, the gospel is amazing. God's plan is incredible. I can't believe I didn't appreciate it until now. And as all good experiences do, the strength of the Spirit of this experience may wear off, but I hope not. I hope it just grows.

Wow, also, everyone needs to go RIGHT NOW to LDS.org and watch the "lifting burdens" video. It makes me cry every time. It's so neat. Also, I challenge everyone to buy Preach My Gospel and read it as a family/together/alone, whatever. It's so neat. It opens your eyes to the little important things in the gospel.

I really love my district. Every single Elder in it. They are such good kids. I just want to squeeze them and give them noogies all the time. Sad, one of our Elders is getting reassigned because he has a cyst on his toosh that will keep him from biking. :( We're hoping he'll get reassigned Mandarin speaking so that he'll stay in our district. The Elders are great. They are good to learn from. They are so cute because they have so much respect for us Jiemeimen (Sisters). When we talk they hush as if saying "Hark! The Jiemeimen speak!" Haha, they're so nice. A couple of them are writing a "rap" about our district. "zuo wei wode diqu" ("do it for the district"). Haha, the're crazy.

Thank you all for all the letters you've sent!! I love getting them. Dear Elder is the coolest. Love you all!!!
Coley