"7 things I learned this week"

Today has been a hard, but good week. I feel like Heavenly Father grabs His missionaries, and pulls their souls out their toes and shows them how they need to do better. It's really beautiful and amazing actually. I feel like I've learned some pretty neat things that I needed to know. Here are a few things I've learned this week:

1) I learned that God is loving and kind and gentle and laughs and really just loves our lives. I think He's profoundly interested in all we do, and loves watching us grow. I used to think he was a harsh being who shook His finger at us. It's still an idea that I sometimes fall under the habit of believing, but as I search the scriptures for more examples of His true loving nature, it's reaffirmed to me how kind He really is. He wants to bless us so much but is only allowed to bless us according to our obedience sometimes.

2) It's important to account to God for our works and desires. At the end of the day, it's important to say, "God, I tried my best to be a good [missionary, mother, father, friend, Relief Society counselor, Ward Mission Leader, home teacher, co-worker, whatever] today. Do you accept my work? What can I do better." God will help us improve and help comfort us when we expect too much of ourselves or show us how we can make more of ourselves.

3) God will never beat us down when He encourages us to change. If we feel like we need to do better in an area, but we feel lost, overwhelmed, like a bad person, etc. then that is NOT God telling us to do better. It's Satan telling us we stink and he's LYING. The way you know a prompting to do better is from God, is if it's followed by encouragement, a "you can do it!" feeling, and ultimately feeling loved and like you can accomplish the change.

4) Perfect love casteth out all fear. This is very appropriate for when I hyperventilate about going to Taiwan.

5) Keep a record! This will help us keep track of and act on spiritual promptings [see Elder Scott's most recent Conference talk]. It'll also keep us from having to re-learn something a million times. I SO wish I'd kept a journal in Russia, China and Ukraine. But, I had an idea...so you know how our family is a little spread out right now...and we don't always know what's going on with people...?

6) I learned that our WHOLE LIVES are missions. So when I think, "AH! This is just so hard! 16 more months..." I stop myself because it's not like it'll be over in 16 months. I will be serving the Lord for the REST of my life. I have been okay with sitting back for the past little while, but no more! God wants us to lift and help others and we promised God when we joined His church that we would build his kingdom through service and missionary work and doing hard callings and stuff. So it's not ending any time soon. And that's good! I'm so excited! Life should be hard work.

7)I have felt guilty for the way I served in Russia. I was having a really hard time while I was there and always thought that I just blew it. So I was really worried about going on a mission because if I did a cruddy job in Russia, I'd blow it in Taiwan too. But I had a really neat experience where I felt Heavenly Father tell me that I didn't do a totally cruddy job. But not because I was so good, but because God knew I was trying my best so through His Atonement He made up the rest and made the semester a success. And Looking back, I can see it was a success. No matter what we're doing, if we try our best and rely on God to help us with the rest, we'll do things above and beyond our capabilities.

Well, time is running out. I love you all! Write me and let me know how everyone is doing!